Monday, May 12, 2008

But mom, he seems really nice!

37 comments:

Steven S. said...

Ha! So true. I'm forwarding this to my veteran parents - I think they'll get a kick out of it.

Suzie Bee said...

:D Made me laugh out loud!

gscott68 said...

They forgot "endangers children."

Anonymous said...

...and soft drink vendors.

liss said...

both make me equally squeamish. nice one!

Anonymous said...

Unbelievably cool. You rock.

Anonymous said...

So true. Everytime I see a military poster at my school i rip it down and throw it in the garbage.

Vince said...

I still have to wonder though... how would I be different if a perv got to me before the recruit did?

Unknown said...

Are 17-year-olds really children?

I'm just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

As a former recruiter, this rocks! What scares me: What if it's a recruiter AND a perv?

Anonymous said...

I love this site so much

_____________________________
| Love | | |
| this | Me | Pervs |
| site | | |
--------------------------------------------------

Anonymous said...

@gscott68 -- that would be where the "terrifies parents" bit comes in.

@j -- you tell us: can 17-year-olds buy alcohol where you live? i guess they're only children when it's convenient, hm?

@jess -- spot on again.

Anonymous said...

At the school where I teach, the recruiters (for the National Guard) were involved in a scandal and sleeping with our Cheerleader Coach and our Cheerleaders.. they weren't charged because the "victims" were over 16, and of age to consent. I think the Guardsmen were demoted, but not kicked out of the Guard. Makes me feel safe. Speaks volumes about Guardsmen.

Anonymous said...

@j and modchen

You can only sign up at the age of 17 with your parents permission.

So they may be "enticing children" but they are recruiting adults.

vanderleun said...

You've got cute site but you don't know jack about the military or recruitment.

Indeed, your ignorance is stunning. Try education when you've got a spare moment. Don't just eat what others are shoveling at you.

vanderleun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RC said...

good one, that's really nice.

April Allridge said...

Very funny--and only true because of the outrageous tactics currently being used (at least by some recruiters).

vanderleun said...

Fortunately for the present and future safety of our kids here, Jessica and Jim, there is some good news:

===
WASHINGTON (AP) - The Marine Corps far surpassed its recruiting goal last month and could eventually be more than a year ahead of schedule in its plan to grow the force to 202,000 members. All military services met or exceeded their monthly recruiting goals in April, with the Marine Corps signing 142 percent of the number it was looking for, the Pentagon said.

The Army signed 101 percent of its goal, recruiting 5,681 against a goal of 5,650. The Navy and Air Force met their goals - 2,905 sailors and 2,435 airmen. The Marine Corps enlisted 2,233 recruits against a goal of 1,577.
===

Keep blogging and carping, kids. The Marines will defend you no matter what you are.

A Paperback Writer said...

I recall taking a career aptitude test in high school, but no one told me that it was sponsored by the army. I was harrassed with phone calls and junk mail for almost a full year afterward -- long before I turned 18. My dad was less-than-pleased, I can assure you -- because he'd served long and hard in WWII and certainly didn't want his kids in the army.
Dad has tons of respect for the Marines, who, as he says, always get sent in first into the worst areas. BUT, neither of us (nor any teacher I know) has respect for the sneaky tactics used by those who recruit children.
Hey, gerard, ever read Owen's "Dulce Et Decorum Est"? It's all about dying after inhaling gas during WWI. And the whole point of the poem is that recruiters even then were making war sound glorious and adventuresome, which anyone who's seen combat can tell you it isn't. Adults should make decisions about whether or not they wish to do the kind of work it takes to fight a war; children should not be given incomplete information and then led into a commitment that may be deadly or physically or emotionally destructive.

Anonymous said...

I think some people commenting here are taking this much too seriously. As a member of the Canadian Army, I clearly remember my recruiter resembling this remark. Its in their nature (and job description - sort of), and many recruiters I know would laugh their butts off at this remark.

Honestly, if you can't laugh at things that are funny because they're true...

The Squeaky Wheel said...

Hey now! :-)

Remember it was you who said that, ironically, the military is more loyal and treats its employees better than the civilian world :-)

vanderleun said...

Cher Paperback,
I can assure you that I have read and comprehended pretty much every significant poem written in English for and against war in the last 300 years.

I take you point that your dad wasn't pleased, but surely you know that once you turn 18 your dad really has nothing to say about it beyond whatever influence he can bring to bear.

Chidren? What exactly do you mean by "children?" People of 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 or up years? When does, in your opinion, a child become an adult?

Clearly there are many here -- our indexed "artist" included -- who are well into their 20s and beyond that are still children.

But only because many adults who are younger than they are make it possible for them to indulge themselves. They simply either don't realize it or they are too ashamed to admit it.

Anonymous said...

Police: Guardsman Had Sex with 16-Year-Old Cheerleader

http://www.topix.com/forum/county/greenwood-sc/TG70GGVT7PKLVTGFB

Anonymous said...

I wonder if that's the real Gerard Van Der Luen (editor of Penthouse magazine) posting, or an imposter.

If it's an imposter, he's managed to get Van Der Lune's unique brand of frothing strawman-filled logic-devoid invective down pat.

If it's the real deal, I wonder why he doesn't have anything better to do.

vanderleun said...

The pleasure is to serve.

This is my community service requirement. Somebody's got to keep the children in line.

Anonymous said...

Hey Gerard, life's a garden. Dig it. Why don't you loosen up a bit. Our friend Jess is brilliant. Just because you don't agree with her doesn't mean she's a "child".

Hmmmmm, I'm going out on a limb here, but judging from the tone of your comments I'm guessing you're a religious fanatic too, right? Yup. Thought so.

vanderleun said...

Actually, nope. You are quite wrong.

You need to allow more than a space between wrong thoughts to occur in you mind and agreement with yourself. It only underscores some sort of bizarre mental disorder.

As for "brilliant".... well, no,not really. "Clever" most certainly although sometimes too clever by half.

Anonymous said...

If the perv is Michael Jackson, they share the characteristic of wearing a military uniform.

Anonymous said...

Love it! : )

Empty Promises said...

If you don't understand this you weren't or can't remember being a male in high school. They follow you home and don't take no for an answer. They're half real nice and half like you owe them money.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Gerard,

For one who has claimed to have "read and comprehended pretty much every significant poem written in English for and against war in the last 300 years," you are certainly missing quite a bit here.
Jessica Hagy's work - especially with the venn diagrams - is not necessarily advocating a specific line of thought. Instead, her strength lies in the ability to point out the nuances of language and how two unrelated and dissimilar subjects may be juxtaposed to show exactly how our language would compare them. She is not saying that military recruiters are pervs. What she is saying is that we have similar terms applied to them. Ms. Hagy could have just as easily chosen gang members or drug-dealers, but she chose military recruiters because there is a huge difference between the reputation of the military and that of perverts. This difference was chosen to enhance the comedic effect of the index card.
So, before you go attacking others for their own work, take your own advice: "Try education when you've got a spare moment. Don't just eat what others are shoveling at you." What others are shoving at you being this form of imposing your own sense moral and social superiority just because you can pretend to claim that another person over the internet knows nothing about the military or its recruitment patterns.
Thank you for your attention.

Anonymous said...

This blog is great

viknesh said...

Don't try lording your righteousness over people, its pretty annoying. Also, i think it is fairly factual that military recruiters recruit at schools, woo children, and, to some extent, scare parents. Maybe less so the last one (depending on who your parents are), but all in all, I think this card is pretty good.

Assistant Village Idiot said...

Well, if anyone is still here...

That looks like the real gerard to me. This site is generally good, but that doesn't mean a prejudice can't leak out from time to time. The comparison between pervs and military recruiters could possibly just be a non-political commentary, I grant. But I rather doubt it in our current climate. Socially alert people know that such things might offend - and the blogger could not be so clever were she(?) not social alert.

I have had four boys, three of whom were pursued by military recruiters - no bad experiences. Several colleges, sales job recruiters, and bad girlfriends - they were a problem.

So that, plus the rather loose definition of children, plus what the regular commenters quickly leaped on, leads me to think that the slam was not entirely innocent.

Anonymous said...

hahaha. can't stop laughing... lol

Anonymous said...

LOL.priceless. this is hilarious, i think this calls for a t shirt print!

 
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