Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Family.

116 comments:

Margaret said...

Stated so simply. And so simply true.

Chase said...

Thank you!! My lesbian best friend and her partner just had a baby last week. I haven't seen two people be more loving parents.

Joanna said...

<3 Thank you.

Anonymous said...

*applause*

Anonymous said...

amen.

Kits said...

Its so true and such a nice thought!

Laurel R said...

Beautiful. Thank you so much. :-)

Dana said...

Brilliant. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

awful, PC, yuck!!!!!

Kim said...

As a big ol' lesbo, amen.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Or how about a single parent, a kid, and the immense love they share? That is family as well...

Frappa said...

hi, i'm from italy, but luckily i don't live there animore, they are protesting so much about a new law wich guarantees to omosexual people to officially declare their union...
the church and the pope mobilited the "good catholic people" to fight this law and they declared the "family day".
this is a very good answer.

i put it on my blog (with a link to yours) http://webfrancy.splinder.com

(sorry for my poor english) :)

Anonymous said...

A good family is a good family shes just making a point that it doesn't matter what its composed of. I was raised by a single gay mother. I was very loved. She found a partner and has been with her for 10 years now. I have a very supportive home life. They've even had kids since together .

Anonymous said...

Beautiful

Anonymous said...

You're great!

Anonymous said...

not so good as you think

t3knomanser said...

Am I the only person who saw that and thought, "Wait- isn't that biased in favor of the nuclear family?"

Anonymous said...

ALL OF YOU ARE LYING ABOUT HOMOSEX... TO BE GOOD. THE MATERNAL AND PATERNAL VISIONS DISAPPEARS FROM CHILDREN.

neil wykes said...

Blissfully Beautiful

reyn said...

Interesting... people who leave supportive comments use their identities, and people who disagree are all anonymous.

Tyler said...

I turned out okay, thanks. :)

Constantin said...

So what if children are loved? They grow up to be what their parents are.
Disgusting.

@reyn:
I disagree and am not anonymous.

Granny said...

Why can't we all see it that simply?

Sure, it could be just one A and a C or one B and a C but the point is the same. A loving family is a loving family.

Kathy said...

I think that's beautiful. Love is love, no matter who gives it and to whom it's given. This is one of my favorites.

Bobby said...

My partner and I are adopting this year. I love reading your stuff. Very true, and very funny always. Thanks for putting this up. It means a lot every time I see one more person accepting of me and my family.

Steve said...

Man, you were doing so well. I'm very disappointed and saddened.

Anonymous said...

I'm shocked and appalled at the intolerant comments. COME ON PEOPLE.

Thank you to the intelligent ones who see this as a beautiful glimpse into what the feature can be.

Acceptance and respect for people who are different from you, whether you agree or not, is a move in the right direction.

Thank you JESS!!!! xoxo

Sean said...

<3 from cleve. :P

Anonymous said...

Now that all the close-minded people have stopped reading, maybe you can tackle even more complex topics. :) Thank you - your thoughts are very entertaining and insightful!

GDad said...

Rock on!

Anonymous said...

I love this one. :)

Anonymous said...

Constantin, kids don't "grow up" to be gay :)

Anonymous said...

It's clear that children will love their parents regardless of their parent(s)' sexual behaviors.

However, If all the psychological research shows that children are influenced in unique and important ways by parents of each gender, and that children of dual-parent, heterosexual households have less incidences of attachment disorder and other emotional/cognitive development issues, does it not follow that such household relationships should be the norm?

Shawn Hansen said...

Jessica,

Well done!

Constantin,

You are SO right: I turned out just like my (heterosexual) parents. I am kind, and loving, and respectful, and productive, and in a long-term and committed relationship with another woman.

Oh, wait, that's not what you said.

Marc André said...

Constantin: "They grow up to be what their parents are." That is totally unsopported by any real-life data whatsoever.

some anonymous: "If all the psychological research shows that children are influenced in unique and important ways by parents of each gender, and that children of dual-parent, heterosexual households have less incidences of attachment disorder and other emotional/cognitive development issues, does it not follow that such household relationships should be the norm?" The problem is that most research show that children of same-sex couple are more stable, open-minded, empathic and well-rounded.

dave said...

Nicely done...

You know, I'm encouraged by watching how my kid's generation deals with the "gay thing".

After enough of us old, religiously twisted folks die off, sexual orientation will be one less reason to oppress folks.

We are evolving, after all...

Paul said...

I've been a big fan until now.

Call it what you want, but to me it is simply wrong.

Sarah said...

Thanks so much for this! As the daughter of two wonderful lesbians and a fantastic straight man, I thoroughly agree. The amount of love in a family is what matters most.

me said...

Constantin said...

So what if children are loved? They grow up to be what their parents are.
Disgusting.

does that mean your kids will grow up to be bigoted assholes??? i'd rather they be gay!

Robert said...

I disagree. And I am not anonymous.

And I think it's interesting that being < 100% accepting of homosexual lifestyles automatically gets you branded as being a knuckle-dragging, closed-minded, unintelligent person. Isn't that a little... closed-minded? Can't a person disagree with the lifestyle as the result of sincere conviction or a thorough chain of thinking, not out of stupidity or bigotry? Consider the possibility.

Warren said...

I've been a big fan until now.

Now I'm a bigger fan.

Brave. True. Awesome!

Brandon said...

I proclaim the need to put this on a shirt.

Jamie said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Anjea said...

People that say it's wrong are obviously looking at the "wrong" thing - they only care about the sexual orientation of the parents, NOT the welfare of the child. If they really were concerned with the welfare of the child, then they'd be MORE than happy to support gay/lesbian adoptions, as that's how we can help the children from impoverished lifestyles or those in the foster system.

Amen, sister!

Wolfger said...

Not to complain, but you forgot the adults>2 options. :-D

Kelly Cho said...

Opinions on homosexuality aside, you can't deny that this is still true.

Love it!

Kelly Cho said...

Opinions on homosexuality aside, you can't deny that this is still true.

Love it!

Cameron Campbell said...

More love. Not less. More.

Well done.

A Paperback Writer said...

And Tango Makes Three.....
I like this, although I do agree with the anonymous who commented on kids being loved by single parents (regardless of that parent's sexual preference) as well.
There are lots of kinds of successful families (and lots of kinds of unsuccessful ones as well). Number of parents, their genders, and their preferences aren't the main variables in the success; love, support, and tolerance are far more important.

Alisha said...

aw! Warms my heart!! :)

zerzhul said...

that is very beautiful, and I agree to an extent. To those who asked why people can't see it that way all the time, it's because there are certain balances that children need while growing up that comes from a strong presence of both sexes in their lives.

I definitely think that loving same sex parents can be just as loving as hetero, and are definitely better than a dysfunctional hetero family, but one can't pretend that they can impart the same experience on a child.

Maxine Dangerous said...

Awww! :) Love it. Great blog, BTW. :)

Dave said...

I'm Dave and I'm not anonymous either.

Robert, chill. It's an opinion not pictures of an abortion.

Good one.

Cameron Campbell said...

zerzhul, which brings us back to "why aren't people who are opposed to same sex parents not also after the single parent households?"

(It should be noted that I am not misinterpreting your comment, nor suggesting that you are homophobic, I'm just asking).

emma said...

You've just inspired me to make a similar post on my blog... apparently it weeds out all the bigots and gets them to flounce off in a huff. Sounds like a plan to me! ;)

Love this one. Love all of them, mind.

Polly said...

Many thanks. The Venn diagram never fails to illuminate, and you put it to eloquent use here.

Eric Meyer said...

Bingo.

Scott said...

Bravo!

Scott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave(id) said...

You seem to have touched a nerve, well done. Funny where people's passions lie. You'd think it would be easy to put our energy into more important issues, but it seems we're only interested in what affects "me".

Anonymous said...

Let me be the first to suggest that the math in the diagram may be askew. I submit that it's likely that the ratio of children who are loved in same-sex-parent households may be *higher* than those in traditional opposite-sex households?

Why?

How many unwanted and/or unplanned children are born to traditional couples? Lots and lots and lots. And frustration over that situation often leads to resentment of the children.

And how many unwanted and/or unplanned children are born to same-sex couples? Not a whole hell of a lot would be my official estiamte. The vast majority of children being raised by same-sex couple were both wanted and planned.

Though even as-is, it is a beautiful commentary disguised as a simple illustration.

Brian said...

Robert said -

"And I think it's interesting that being < 100% accepting of homosexual lifestyles automatically gets you branded as being a knuckle-dragging, closed-minded, unintelligent person. Isn't that a little... closed-minded? Can't a person disagree with the lifestyle as the result of sincere conviction or a thorough chain of thinking, not out of stupidity or bigotry? Consider the possibility."

WELL SAID ROBERT!!!!

Lan Bui said...

To disagree with this doesn't make you close-minded.

If you disagree with that statement then you are close-minded.

If you are close-minded then you are must be a hypocrite for saying I am wrong for disagreeing.

We all believe different things and have different feelings. We will all find out who is right when we die, so why argue about it now?

We have all heard how we came from monkeys and we also heard that Jesus saves. We made our decision and no-one will change our minds right?

So... we can disagree and still be friends.

Anonymous said...

And I think it's interesting that being < 100% accepting of homosexual lifestyles automatically gets you branded as being a knuckle-dragging, closed-minded, unintelligent person. Isn't that a little... closed-minded? Can't a person disagree with the lifestyle as the result of sincere conviction or a thorough chain of thinking, not out of stupidity or bigotry?


Thank you, Robert, for putting it so clearly and concisely. Well said.

When did the world stop free-thinking individuals from speaking their beliefs?

Anonymous said...

anonymous said
"does it not follow that such household relationships should be the norm?"

dude, i'm pretty sure 2-parent heterosexual upbringings are the norm. it's just no biggie bringing up kids in other settings too.

Anonymous said...

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

Julie Gomoll said...

Sweet.

@Brandon - agreed, it's definitely shirt-worthy.

Hannah said...

I love this! If it was on a shirt, i would totally buy it. Keep up the good work, I love your blog!

Anonymous said...

"...And the greatest of these is Love."
1C 13:13

h.p said...

I love it. Nicely stated, though I agree there should be some love for single parents as well. ;p

And... just my two cents... I don't think it's wrong to disagree. Well, I think it's factually wrong, not morally so...
I think it's wrong call it "disgusting" and generally feel hatred towards gays. Yes, that does make you bigoted. (But I don't hate intolerent people... I simply ignore them. =D)

Anonymous said...

Hetero parents are no guarantee of loving parents.

Just ask my therapist and the 5 kinds of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers in my medicine cabinet.

Plus the insomnia medication that made me lose 50 pounds (had it to lose, hooray) and the blood pressure meds because one of my anti-depressants jacks up my BP.

My grandmother doesn't take these many pills! But she also didn't have a parent who terrorized her every single day (and another who was guilty of benign neglect)

I would have been happy to have been brought up by wolves - they couldn't have been any meaner.

Amanda said...

ditto on the t-shirt request -- that would be great to wear for our pride parade and i think you'd sell a lot!

M said...

Jess,

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

This is Big Love.

You just happened to draw a picture of it.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." -Robert Munsch

Anonymous said...

Damn straight (pardon the pun)

Tom McLeod said...

Just a small note...we're all anonymous on here...so that's irrelevant...sort of like arguing on the internet.

Gayteen said...

Yay! Go gays! When I'm older (and find a man), I'm totally adopting.

jane said...

Robert:

And I think it's interesting that being < 100% accepting of homosexual lifestyles automatically gets you branded as being a knuckle-dragging, closed-minded, unintelligent person. Isn't that a little... closed-minded? Can't a person disagree with the lifestyle as the result of sincere conviction or a thorough chain of thinking, not out of stupidity or bigotry? Consider the possibility.

Can a person "disagree with the lifestyle" of Jews or Buddhists or Christians "not out of stupidity or bigotry"? I've considered the possibility and I don't find it likely.

Anonymous said...

To zerzhul, a while back:

You say, "I definitely think that loving same sex parents can be just as loving as hetero, and are definitely better than a dysfunctional hetero family, but one can't pretend that they can impart the same experience on a child."

Even supposing that same-sex couples "impart" a different "experience on a child" than heterosexual couples, it doesn't follow that that the "experience" "imparted" by the former is any *worse* than that "imparted" by the latter. Differences can be just differences; they aren't always grounds for condemnation.

Or are you suggesting that having two parents of the same sex (or one parent of only one sex, as some sharp readers have pointed out) somehow makes a child's life less worth living? Is a two-heterosexual-parent family so obviously the only model of a good family?

And have you considered that perhaps the difficulty faced by children raised by two parents of the same sex (and even by children raised by one parent, I'm sure, in many cases) is caused in large part by the fact that these children need to deal with offensive, insensitive comments? That they need to deal with other parents who won't have their kids hanging out with the children of homosexuals? --I mean: even if there are negative psychological ramifications of being raised by a same-sex couple, it's not at all clear (and can't be, I think, in a society such as ours) that the negative effects are caused by the parents and not by the way others (like some who have posted on this blog) react to the parents (and their children).

Ben B. said...

"To disagree with this doesn't make you close-minded.

If you disagree with that statement then you are close-minded."

...Huh?

Ms. Java said...

Well said, or rather well indexed. Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

loving the liberal ideas and its true. for the people down this list who put they think its wrong or sick or something equally as ignorant need to try an open mind. to summarise gd blog and enjoying the other funny and thoughtful blogs.

Anonymous said...

That's just wonderful. I'm using it as my signature in a forum. =]

Sara said...

I don't think this diagram actually makes any sense. So, A circle is the set of... all gay mothers and the intersection of all gay mothers and all gay mothers is all loved children...
Are some gay mothers also loved children? I'm confused.

Dina said...

This absolutely made my day.

Thank you...so much. You have no idea how much it means. <3

Goalzilla said...

Wonderful!

Laurel R said...

Sara, the 'Indexed' card shows three sets of families: one family with a mom and a dad, one with two moms, and one with two dads. The intersection of each being the loved children within those families. Nothing more, nothing less. The poignancy of the card lies in its simplicity. It is a simple truth, presented in a such a gentle manner.

The commentary that followed shows a wide range of thought, but much of it misses the point. I am sure the author, Jessica, is not trying to omit single-parent families or any other kind. It seems to me that all she is doing is pointing out the fallacy that same-sex couples cannot be as loving as straight parents. Indeed, as some of the commentary has indicated, there are actually some people who believe that is true. But most of us who are parents know better. We know that it is Love that genuinely makes a family. It has nothing to do with the gender of the parents. Jessica's mathematical symbolism of this is a refreshing and beautiful way to say so.

Anonymous said...

Well said Laurel r. The best comment yet.

Sharad Lal said...

Very simple and beautiful!!

charlyyy said...

How about us kids who only have one parent?

I hope we all still have the love of that one parent. I know I do.


Its just a shame the other one hates me, for what she did....

gillian! said...

constantin- your children will grow up to be rude! i hope you are barren. much love, xoxo.

Anonymous said...

i love the card - but am also quite upset at the discussion it *still* generates. in london, gay parenthood is not an issue anymore at all (but then perhaps this is only true among my enlightened, educated friends and not for the general population?), i wish it could be like that everywhere. it particularly saddens me that there appears to be a rise in homophobia in the US (where I spent a considerable amount of my life), or some sort of increasing polarization between ultra-right wingers and us liberal minds. but then perhaps my image is tilted by european reporting. i hope so.

rrho said...

T-Shirt, please?

Michelle said...

This may not be directly related to the blog, but i want to apoligize on behalf of all the right-wing conservatives and Christians who are bigots and don't understand the complexity of homosexuality and the issues therein. I have my own opinions on homosexuality (which probably oppose most of yours), and maybe i'm wrong on some points, but i know there is a lot of tension and even hatred between us, and for that i am sorry. maybe someday we'll be able to have an honest dialogue about it all.

Kari said...

Absolutely magnificient! And so TRUE!

Thanks.

Dave said...

it is impossible by design. no person can have two moms or two dads.

Christopher said...

This is probably one of the most important things I've ever seen in my entire life. Bravo. We need to put this up on a billboard.

Eddy Shergar said...

It's been said before by a better man than me, but truly, all you need is love

jen said...

Dave said...
it is impossible by design. no person can have two moms or two dads.

Dave, I think you're confusing "mother" and "father" with "egg donor" and "sperm donor."

flytape8490 said...

While I agree with homosexuality, I don't agree with people calling homophobics closed minded. People who instantly look at homophobs and say "what a moron", that's jumping to just as many conclusions as homophobs do to gays.

Monky said...

YAY! All of the other posts were great but this one really made me smile! Thank you!!!

<3 <3

Yubi Shines said...

Re: The person(s) saying that the children raised by gay parents "learn" to be gay: Yes, of course, because straight parents bring up children to be straight. I will now proceed to blink out of existence, because I am an impossiblity. :)

מצלמות אבטחה said...

who cares any if he will be gay or not can be worse
יעוץ זוגי

jessica said...

too bad two out of those 3 kids will never be accepted by society, and not be able to go to the loving christian church and thus be forced into hell :-(

cold_tea said...

Just as warren said:
"I've been a big fan until now.

Now I'm a bigger fan."

Spread the love around!

Anonymous said...

It's amazing how people love to get their knickers in a twist about the minutiae of what others do, rather than sorting their own sorry lives out...

Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Please explain the thorough chain of thinking that brings you to the conclusion "gay people shouldn't be parents" without coming off closed-minded or unintelligent

Anonymous said...

It seems prety ridiclous to me that people disagree with this comic. You don't have to completely agree with the homosexual lifestyle, just that same sex parents can be just as loving as heterosexual parents.

Anonymous said...

the difference is that homosexuals don't try to stop straight people having kids or getting married. That's what makes people who disagree bigots.

Amanda said...

"ALL OF YOU ARE LYING ABOUT HOMOSEX... TO BE GOOD. THE MATERNAL AND PATERNAL VISIONS DISAPPEARS FROM CHILDREN."

The children don't need any of this 'maternal and paternal' sexist crap. Parental visions is another matter entirely.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to commend Jessica for her bravery.
It's hard to stand up and say something as controversial as that.
Applause!

Matt said...

Very cool and understated..... Well done!

Anonymous said...

So true!

@robert:

I see what you mean, but it's actually the same as saying: "Well, I'm not close-minded, but I just don't accept the lifestyle of blacks."
robert, you are close-minded.

Ben said...

I agree with the picture... It's a family no matter what. And it doesnt always have to be parents... I have a friend who's parents died, and their family is made up of siblings (they were raised by older sister)... That's a family. Same sex couples with children, Family. Single parents, adoption, foster... all family. I was rejected by my biological family.. disowned when i told them I was gay... and now, I class my close friends as family. It has to do with who loves you and who you love... not about what gender that are, their sexual prefrence or if you came from their egg or sperm.

Love the comic XD <3

Anonymous said...

I agree completely.

Malcolm said...

My first look at your blogs. GREAT FOOD FOR THE MIND!

Maverick said...

Very good, Jessica, don't mind the intolerant comments.

 
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